Story: The Church Accountant (+18) [Completed!!] Season 2

Season 7 years ago

Story: The Church Accountant (+18) [Completed!!] Season 2

Few months after my wedding with Iyoaye, we
decided that instead of both of us doing the
business, I should return back to the church
and continue to work there. I discussed with
the Head Pastor and he was glad to re – absorb
me. I resumed back to work there with speed
and alacrity. But on the day I resumed back I
was summoned to the meeting with the Church
Board. After I entered I was ushered to sit
down.
Head Pastor: Bro Collins, we are happy to have
you back. Infact, the new Accountant just
messed up our books and committed serious
blunders.
Me: Thank you sir.
Elder Garba: The Accountant, I am happy that
you are back to the church office. I hope this
time around you will not “run” away again like
you did the other time
Me: No sir. I wont run away.
Head Pastor: Accountant, you have to reconcile
all the accounts from the very day you left to
the last service. External Auditors from the
Main Church will be returning back next week
to check back the books and let me tell you
this; we were about planning to meet you when
you called us if you can come back.
Me: I feel honoured sir.
Deacon Gbade: Pastor, hope this our new
accountant won’t be chasing girls in the
church?
Head Pastor: No!!!! even when he was with us
the first time, he had a stainless record for not
messing up with the ladies in this church. So I
can vouchsafe him anywhere anytime.
Me: [(thinking) ti Pasito yii ba mo nnkan ti mo
dan-wo (if Pastor knew what I did, he won’t be
saying this)] I did not and will not do such.
Deacon Gbade: Ok. But accountant know that I
am watching you.
As soon as I got to my office, I discovered that
the place was seriously dusty. I beckoned to the
cleaner to come and clean the office. After
cleaning the office, I settled for the day’s job.
No longer when I settled I heard a knock on the
door
Me: come in.
When the person entered I was rooted to the
spot! She had the body of Chika Ike but had
the complexion of Caroline Ekanem…
surprisingly it was Ritababe!
Ritababe: Accountant welcome back.
Me: Thank you dear. And how is work?
Ritababe: Work is going on fine. But Collins, you
really offended me. You eventually did your
wedding with Iyoaye. Thank God you are back. I
promise that you will pay.
Me: (mogbe) abi mot i gbo ni?. (I no hear that
one ooo)
(Flashback) Ritababe has been a lady I fancied
in the choir. We were close and most times she
calls me pet names whenever she had the
chance. One day when we went to the youth
camp, we sneaked to a very secluded and dark
area of the camp where we had s*x; I
deflowered her that night and afterwards she
had been a pain on my neck that she wanted to
marry me. I tried my best to avoid her because
my people were against both of us settling
down but she was adamant. (She was Igbo
while I was Yoruba)….the usual intercom jerked
me back to life
Me: hello
Assistant Pastor: Please Accountant come to my
office
Me: ok (call ends)
Ritababe: a tun ma ri’ra (we will see later)
When I got to the Assistant Pastor, guess who I
saw, MattKelly!
MattKelly: Padi mi to sure ju…….
Me: Eh! Mattkelly!! you A pastor I was
shocked
Mattkelly: Padi mi na me ooo. You are surprised
abi? At least Saul was converted and he
became Paul.
We both laughed. Then I asked
Me: what about Pst. Onihaxy?
Mattkelly: don’t mind the guy. He was caught
smooching a girl in his office by the Head Pastor
and was dismissed summarily. But the lady
stopped coming to church.
Me: well….Pst. Mattkelly, I hope you don
change.
Mattkelly: well baba God don arrest me sha. But
by the way, I heard you are married.
Me: yes I am married.
Mattkelly: na you be boss o.
Me: My pastor, if I be boss you be senior
archbishop.
I returned to my office only to discover that I
have 13 missed calls. Four were from my wife
and the remaining nine from an unknown
number. I called my wife and spoke to her but
after making the call, I called the other number
Me: good morning I missed your call
The person: I know that you won’t miss me; it is
the call that you will miss. This is Dcns. Emeka.
Me: Aiyeraye oooo. E ku ojo meta (it has been a
long time)
Dcns. Emeka: I know other women would have
been competing with me.
Me: no ooo. I have stopped all these. And
besides I’m married
Dcns. Emeka: What You got married and you
didn’t tell me
Me: it is not like that ma. My phone was flashed
and I forgot to remove the sim and all contacts
were wiped off from it.
Dcns. Emeka: o ga o. well sha I’m not annoyed.
Just wanna tell you that I am back.
Me: that is great. What did you bring for your
boy
Dcns. Emeka: Collins, I heard that you have left
the church some months back.
Me: yes I did. With the consent of my wife, I
called the Head Pastor and he was happy to
reabsorb me.
Dcns Emeka: that’s lovely. But who is she?
Me: sis. Iyoaye.
Dcns Emeka: mtchewwww. Accountant, o se mi
(you have offended me)
Me: what happened ma
She ended the call. I loaded airtime on my
phone and called her back
Me: Aunty what happened
Dcns Emeka: I thought that i will have you for
the weekend. Don’t you know that I have
missed your OPA-MOSE?
Me: lol. Ma er….please try to understand…..i
er…..know that….
Dcns Emeka: (cuts in) meet me at our usual
spot tomorrow by 6pm
Me: but ma….
Dcns Emeka: bye (ends call)
I sat in my office pondering on what I have
dragged myself into. How will I handle Dcns.
Emeka How also will I handle Ritababe